Shiny Teeth and Me!
by amyjpond
Summary: Bunnymund and North think it's a hilarious joke to show Jack the song 'Shiny Teeth and Me' - too bad that backfires on them. Badly. "Crikey, never underestimate teenagers." Oneshot!


A/N: Another one shot! Full of crack and the headcanon that 'Shiny Teeth And Me' is undoubtedly Jack's theme song. My friend and I sort of constructed this idea of a joke backfiring on Bunnymund and North when they showed this song to Jack, and viola, I went with it! If you've never heard of the song before, I'd highly recommend listening to it to avoid confusion (Fairly Odd Parents "Shiny Teeth and Me"). Hardly serious! Oh! And the cover art is taken from -jack-frost- on tumblr! The instigator for this crack, tbh

Disclaimer: I neither own the Guardians or Chip Skylar, sigh. I really wish I did.

* * *

_**"MY SHINY TEETH SO AWESOME!"**_

/

"Jack, good, good, come in!" North boomed as Jack hesitated in the doorway of the study. The white haired boy cast a glance around, intrigued as to why he was called to the large room that was still piled high with ice sculptures and stacks of paper. Jack knew Bunny and North had been working together for the past couple of days; apparently some sort of Guardian emergency that needed their expertise, which Tooth, Sandy and himself had stepped back and allowed them to take over. Jack had hung around the Pole nevertheless, as it had been a dull few weeks. He had a lot of pent up energy given the timing of the seasons, when both the hemispheres were stuck in a sort of limbo between cold and warm; difficult for any winter spirit to fully extend their powers.

So instead he kept busy by harassing the elves and teasing the yetis – Phil was the easiest with his temper – and even invented a new form bowling that included the elves for pins (much better than penguin bowling). Despite this, Jack felt a pang of happiness when he was called up to the study. When Phil had come bumbling into the kitchen where he had been teasing a group of elves ("Come on guys, whoever jumps the highest gets the cookie!"), Jack had promptly dropped everything and took off.

With his expression in check – didn't exactly want North and Bunny to know how excited he was to have them call him, which was harder given the amount of energy he had – he paced himself into a steady walk before opening the door.

"So," Jack started easily, striding into the room after North's greeting. "What's the emergency? Let me guess, Bunny lost a boomerang?" Said pooka looked up from the desk with a snort, which was partially hidden by toys and leaves of paper (or _the_ list?), and gave Jack a look that was a mixture of a leer and grin. Why did the hare so look damn mischievous? _He_ was the Guardian of Fun – with a _capital F_.

"Frostbite," Bunny ignored the previous quip, standing up to full height. "Nice to see you _smiling_," He shared a quick look with North, in which the big belly man sniggered unhelpfully. Jack shot him a look before he narrowed his eyes. Bunny was way too cheerful. "We have something to show you."

"Show me?" He paused mid stride, absently playing his fingers against his staff. Jack was instantly suspicious by the two; both looked like they were choking down laughter, much too obvious to be considered a success. North's cough wasn't convincing in the slightest.

"Yes Jack," North cut in, pulling the winter spirit forward – which Jack gave some resistance to, North was being way too pushy – and forced him around the desk. Jack opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by North's enthusiastic rumbling voice.

"Bunny, they do sparkle like Christmas tree!" The oversized rabbit looked like he was going to _convulse_ if he didn't let out that barking laughter of his.

"_A what_?"

North ignored Jack's confusion. "Over here, watch elf-" An elf scuttled away, humming some sort of catchy tune. As Jack was dragged along, the "Kangaroo" and North kept swapping knowing looks and muffled laughter.

"You two suck at being subtle, you know." Jack said dryly as North placed him roughly in between the two of them. There was a brief pause as North expectantly looked at Jack to the desk, then back again, trying to pull the younger boy's attention downwards. Good grief.

After shooting the jolly man another wary look, he looked down to find a laptop screen; the web page was paused on some sort of video. He squinted at it, "Oh for- have you even being working, or just watching Rudolph videos all day?"

"Oh just keep your hole closed for a sec, would ya?" Bunny said blithely as he reached down a paw to click play (albeit with some difficulty). He couldn't however, hide the excitement in his voice; Jack eyed him suspiciously.

It was then that the music caught his attention and he slowly peered down at the screen. North gave him a few nudges, his chuckles muffled by his hand.

_"When I'm feeling lonely…."_

"This is the best part!" North shouted gleefully.

* * *

"What is it?" Tooth burst into the Pole, a streamline of fairies trailing after her. "North? I got your message! What's wrong with Jack-?" She stopped upon hearing the trilling laughter of the winter spirit through the thick walls, and Baby Tooth perked up considerably over her shoulder.

"Tooth!" North exclaimed as he stumbled through a large engraved doorway, his eyes wide. "You must help!"

Tooth flew over to him, as the big man seemed out of breath. "Of course! Where is he? What's wrong, North? Is he hurt? What hap-"

"We thought it'd be joke!" North exclaimed, as if half delirious, "Because his teeth, yah? Shiny teeth and -"

"Crikey, _never _underestimate teenagers." Bunny emerged, slumping against the doorframe, his fur ruffled and full of frost. Both looked as if they had witnessed the abominable snowman running stark naked through the Pole (again).

Tooth looked between the two of them, still unclear on what was happening. She had perked up at the mention of teeth – Jack's teeth – but what had happened still remained a mystery. Then a thought occurred to her.

"His teeth! They didn't fall out, did they?" Tooth cried, her hand flying to her mouth. A fairy fainted behind her, as if the thought of Jack loosing his teeth was worse than impending doom.

Bunnymund barked out a laugh that sounded half crazed, "Fall out? Oh no, mate. He's, he's …" He shook his head. "You might as well see yourself." He eased off the doorframe to let Tooth through, her expression stifled with confusion.

"I don't understand, what's the emergency…" She trailed off as she walked through the connecting hallway that led towards the main building where the globe hung heavily on its axis. The sound of Jack's voice became more distinct and she could now catch phrases rather than just muffled words.

"… Those bones in my jaw that don't have a flaw-"

The entire building was covered, _layered_, in sheets of frost, their designs spreading across floor and ceiling - was it just Tooth's imagination or were there teeth in some? Yetis and elves hovered uneasily in the corners, looking tired and worn out as their eyes followed something moving in the air. Well, all except one Yeti, who seemed pretty into it. Tooth looked up with big eyes to watch Jack make a leap across the globe, his mannerisms quick and loose as he moved skywards.

"_MY SHINY TEETH AND ME!_"

His voice was bright with childish delight as he swung from the beams of the building, a burst of cold air flooding the space. And he was grinning, grinning savagely as he sung, which allowed Tooth the perfect view of those teeth. She stared up stunned.

"MY SHINY TEETH THAT TWINKLEEE, JUST LIKE THE STARS IN SPACE –_SORRY MANNY_– MY SHINY TEETH THAT SPARKLE AND ADD BEAUTY TO MY FAAAACE!"

He didn't even notice as the rest of the Guardians circled around Tooth, who continued to stare gob smacked at the winter spirit.

"He's been singing that for seven hours." Bunnymund turned to Tooth. "_Straight_."

North made a pained noise.

"I- " Tooth didn't even know what to say. Far off on one of the balconies, a Yeti slipped on the ice; Jack's laughter mixed with the next verses as he continued.

"You have to help," North put a hand on Tooth's shoulder, pleading with his eyes. "Not even I can listen to Jingle Bells for so long."

"Where did he get the song?" She asked, looking on in disbelief. Part of her warmed to the lyrics as if by instinct – _keep it together_, she warned herself. Bunnymund and North had the grace to look sheepish.

"It was joke! You always talk of his white teeth!" North claimed defensively.

"We didn't know the bugger would go off his rockers!" Bunny gestured to the boy still singing gleefully, hopping around the globe. A flock of fairies had joined him with squeaks of delight as he more than happily flashed them his pearly whites.

"Haven't you tried getting him down?" Tooth asked, unable to take her eyes off of Jack; he was mesmerizing – and so were his teeth.

"Oh we tried!" Bunnymund winced. "Frostbite here simply froze my boomerang! Froze it! _Solid_!" He held up the weapon in question which now had a delicate design of – was that Jack? The frost had taken on a more or less accurate depiction of Jack himself, flashing a very Chip-Skylar grin. "Cheeky son of a- "

It was then that the Guardian of_ F_un noticed his new audience – or better yet, the Tooth fairy. His grin stretched even wider and he dived down, his eyes locking on Tooth with a knowing look in his eyes; she fought the urge to swoon. His eyes seemed to demonstrate he knew _exactly_ what he was doing.

"Now look here frosty, calm down or- " Bunnymund started, inching towards the singing spirit.

Jack swung his eyes over to the irritated rabbit, his eyes sparkling and mouth already working. Bunny groaned. "Every_time_…"

"WHY SHOULD I TALK TO _YOU_ WHEN I'VE GOT THIRTY TWO," He winked at Tooth. "MY SHINY TEETH AND MEEEE!" And then he took off again, leaving the Guardians in a trail of light flurries.

Up above, a fairy squealed.

Unfortunately for the Guardians (maybe not so much for Tooth), this continued for four more hours until Jack collapsed on the globe. He received an encore from the one yeti, Chuck, who had impressively watched the entire performance with childlike glee.

* * *

A/N: last time North and Bunnymund pull a "joke" like this tbh

now that is out of my system; if you're interested in more, on my tumblr my friend made a clip for this so askjsdk (as in shiny teeth and me + rotg vid). I cried. My profile has a link!


End file.
